A love letter to geek Gods: Sexy boys speak Java, C++ and PHP

A love letter to geek Gods: Sexy boys speak Java, C++ and PHP

I’ve always secretly dreamed of being a developer. There’s just so much appeal to that world for me. The foremost being that I have a strange attraction to guys who can code like geek Gods, their weapons of choice have tough masculine names such as Python, Java (think hot melting Lava), C++ and PHP, rarrrr. Sensitive guys and experts on guitar also do it for me too, but that’s another story.

My programming skills don’t really extend beyond the realm of the compulsory university html class I took in my undergraduate degree. Sure, I’ve dabbled with making websites and, more honestly, breaking websites, but at the end of the day here I am opting for the ease of Word Press ready-made plugins. My true tech skill is extraordinary using. Yeah, that’s right, you heard it here first, I use software. I get all up in that software, I click things, I open every page on websites I use the search tools and I navigate around, a whole heap.

Although to a normal person, let’s say, looking at the activity on my laptop over my shoulder in the library (not looking at anyone specific,  ahem), it seems I’m clicking things like a mad person, going places no one really wants to go, navigating to the same place again but from a different menu. And maybe I am. Maybe the reality is that’s all I’m doing. But in my mind, I’m on a great voyage of crime fighting discovery.

My affection of doing this has made me think that maybe I could have taken up a role as a Tester in a software development company. I personally prefer to call these dudes software warriors.  You see, inside software exists these terrible little demons, there are potentially thousands of them, with many different names you may recognize, like ”error 404 page” for example. In the industry they call these terrors “bugs”. A Tester’s job is to hunt out these bugs like a Grey Hound on crack. Once they find them they send in the muscle, the programmers, to beat the bugs up and kick them out. Really, I’m swooning just thinking about it. I should move on before this thing gets sexual.

I realized in my first marketing class that I’d be described as what you call an “earlier adopter”. If there is something new then I’m keen to give it a try, I’m a curious mind. I occasionally scroll through pages of new tech start-ups just so I can try out their software in the alpha or beta phase. But the reality is that I get frustrated with established software because simple things which would make the user-experience simpler are overlooked. Take Twitter for example. I know it’s all the rage, but really, in my opinion the user experience could be so much better. I get that the whole idea is that it’s supposed to be simple, but I have so many questions for the design team: Why on earth aren’t comments threaded? Why is it so ugly? Shouldn’t small URLs be generated automatically, or can’t we just use hyperlinks? I could go on, as that is how my mind works. I like improvements and unlike 90% of my Facebook friends, I am really excited about the new changes on Facebook and have already implemented the early release timeline on my page. I just wish everyone had relentless goals for software improvement.

I love technology and I especially love using well made, user friendly, beautiful clean software.
Developers and designers – they’re virtual reality crafting super-brains, who along with programmers, the sexy bug-fighting coding wizards, I will forever have a crush on. Thanks for all the wonderful software you enrich my life with. I think of you when scrolling your pages and clicking the buttons you coded with your own eight fingers and opposable thumbs.

Forever an admirer, early adopter software junky, Amanda.


  1. Renato Andrés Herrera Hernández Hayden Smith, Paul Dekker I thought your may like this one. 🙂
    Nick Schembri, Martin Hipp, Tim de Jardine, Ingo Schommer, Matt Peel, Matthew Boniface

  2. Maybe we should get together and make a topless calendar for Amanda of us coding

  3. also Amanda, i’m fairly sensitive and bass is close enough to guitar right…

  4. I wish I got these kinds of responses at work. Mostly it’s just users complaining 😛



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